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Funniest/Wierdest "advice" from punters

Filed Under : Rants

Posted By : Mick (ex Bad Horsie) | Comments : 34

We've all had it

When I was with Bad Horsie, occasionally we'd get requests for songs, and some of them were pretty good ones that we hadn't thought of.

However, just occasionally, and bearing in mind we specifically took chart songs and metalled them up, we'd get the odd "expert".

"You're alright you lads, but you should play some Sabbath and DC". Yes. Because that'd fit RIGHT in with the Tiffany, Stranglers and Kraftwerk you just heard us play mate.

But the oddest "critique" I ever got was in Scarborough at the Leaking Boot with a Lizzy covers band after having played Still in Love with You. Apparently I was on the wrong side of the stage to play the first solo.

Bearing in mind I was playing a metallic violet Ibanez RG through a Mesa Boogie combo, which as we all know is that classic Lizzy combination.......


# Posted by VANKWISH - 30/01/2015, 09:32 (GMT)

only one....

give up mate, your shit!!!



# Posted by Wizdom - 30/01/2015, 09:38 (GMT)

A funny moment with one band i was in, I was singing I want to break free when this guy
got up disappeared through this door then reappeared pushing an hoover whilst stripping off
went round the whole club had people in stitches and totally made the night !

Another moment was when Pete the singer in a band called Eye To Eye
was trying to sing his song and someone kept on shouting out country roads Country Roads
at the end off the song Pete said to him, like country roads do you he said yes
Pete said well get in your car and Fuck off !

# Posted by WAGONTOWN - 30/01/2015, 09:41 (GMT)

You should do more Irish
You should do more Johnny Cash
You should do more Rock
You should do more proper bluegrass

All on the same night lol.


# Posted by TheEdge159 - 30/01/2015, 09:48 (GMT)

In my Simon and Garfunkel tribute we lost count of the amount of times people asked for Take That, Queen etc....

# Posted by Marauder - 30/01/2015, 09:52 (GMT)

when with Anthem (2 guitar duo) .......''if you want to get more gigs, you need to get a drummer' To which I replied.....''80 gigs per year is plenty really''


# Posted by ThatDawnOne - 30/01/2015, 09:56 (GMT)

If anyone mentions my name, heads will roll :D

And Mark, Anthem were great as you were.

# Posted by MICK NASH - 30/01/2015, 10:08 (GMT)

There's an expert at every gig, for some reason they always seem to be on their own. The most recent comment that springs to mind was a few weeks ago in Bolton: "Stop singing, your voice is shit...just play instrumentals tonight"

# Posted by The Bears - 30/01/2015, 10:46 (GMT)

The best I had was

"You Can't stop now, we have only just come in.
That was at 5 to 12 when we were doing our 3rd encore to finish.
That may sound big headed but it's not meant that way.

# Posted by STONEMAN - 30/01/2015, 11:02 (GMT)

Being told to turn up the guitar when they are stood right in front of the bass players amp

# Posted by 1 man punk band - 30/01/2015, 11:22 (GMT)

Got told to get back on stage as you shouldn't be doing any audience participation,

# Posted by THE ROB MARTIN BAND - 30/01/2015, 11:30 (GMT)

@ Loosecoverz That seems to happen a lot . Specially on a
Sunday Early gigs like 6 til 9 sort of time ! Some prat comes in
Ten mins before finishing as says "You've only done two " we
Only just came in !!

We had one in Leyland a while back and some knob said
He'd pay us £100 to play 30 more minutes ! Yeah right

# Posted by noneoftheabove - 30/01/2015, 11:41 (GMT)

Not quite the same category, but in two different bands, while setting up, we have been asked what kind of stuff we play. The bands in question: PINKed FLOYD, and New SOUL Messengers.

# Posted by Hush - 30/01/2015, 11:43 (GMT)

Aye!! Every venue has it's own resident sound engineer/expert.

# Posted by Jeepster Gaz ( RailerMania ) - 30/01/2015, 11:59 (GMT)

Years ago in the U2 tribute band a fella came up to us while we were setting up and said -

'' what kind of stuff do you do '' I said '' we are a U2 Tribute band ''

he said '' do you do any Oasis '' I said '' yeah, because we are a U2 Tribute band ''

He said '' which ones do you do '' I said '' all of em ''

He wasn't pleased later when we did two hours of U2 !

# Posted by THE ROB MARTIN BAND - 30/01/2015, 12:20 (GMT)

@Gaz With the U2 did you ever do the Transport club in Rochdale on Friday Nights ?

# Posted by Too Much Bass - 30/01/2015, 12:26 (GMT)


Even though I never touch the volume after the sound check, a couple of times i've been asked to turn the volume down by people stood BEHIND the bass rig.
I tell em it sounds fine out front and they get a bit pissy.

# Posted by Scott - 30/01/2015, 12:39 (GMT)

Setting up at the Retrobar in St Helens for the first ever Metalleeka gig and some pissed up chav staggers up and says "Do you guys do any Kasabian?" "No sorry mate we are a Metallica tribute band" "Ah ok........do you do any Oasis???????"
Give him the stare of death and he goes away lol

# Posted by THE ROB MARTIN BAND - 30/01/2015, 12:44 (GMT)

We've been asked to do Shania Twain more than once !

# Posted by Mr Cottonhouse - 30/01/2015, 12:45 (GMT)

We were told at a Northern Soul night that SoulTrain could not be a 'proper' Northern Soul band because we didn't have enough buttons on our shirt!

Very anal those Northern Soulies!

# Posted by Jeepster Gaz ( RailerMania ) - 30/01/2015, 12:48 (GMT)

@ Rob

Yes we did it just once. it was a very long time ago though and not the busiest of nights if I remember !

# Posted by Mick (ex Bad Horsie) - 30/01/2015, 12:50 (GMT)

"We've been asked to do Shania Twain more than once"

Who wouldn't do her more than once? ;o)

# Posted by Scott - 30/01/2015, 12:54 (GMT)

badum tshhh

# Posted by Roj (Black Rose) - 30/01/2015, 13:14 (GMT)

We got asked once "do you play anything by The Eagles" she'd paid £5.00 door charge to watch a Thin Lizzy Tribute, WTF.

# Posted by Roberto, fretboard polisher - 30/01/2015, 15:44 (GMT)

Still unable to think of a comment as I'm thinking about Shania twain in a pair of tight pants.

# Posted by [mark] Into The Void - 30/01/2015, 16:15 (GMT)

being in a Sabbath trib is a double edged sword - yes you get loads of experts and massive fans of Sabbath come along but the downside is ... you get loads of experts and massive fans of Sabbath come along.... "Have you heard what geezer butler plays on the 1981 live in Minneapolis bootleg to kick off NIB?" errrr!!! "No can you hum it for me?"

# Posted by Steaming Richard (bass) - 30/01/2015, 17:45 (GMT)

Early Nineties in an original Goth type band playing the Cavern. Guy suggests we should play 'The Justified and Ancients of Moo moo' -seriously!

# Posted by paulandsandra marauder + white... - 30/01/2015, 18:46 (GMT)

I was once told by a punter that I wasn't playing through 'professional equipment' as I wasn't playing through a Mesa boogie!! Sorry mate but an ibanez Jem, a hughes&kettner trilogy head into a marshall 2x12 with a boss gt100 is good enough for me! I looked at him with dismay and walked away before i did something I would have regretted! This was the same night that mark was told that his line 6 spider amp wasn't a valve amp, oh how we laughed at the jockstrap when we told him it was!!!!! Classic cock munchers!!!!


# Posted by thechevrolets - 30/01/2015, 20:14 (GMT)

we are a 60s band and we usually get , can you play something out of the charts , my reply is yes all theses are out the charts and have been for 50 years

# Posted by Jump the Shark (Andy) - 30/01/2015, 22:08 (GMT)

I got a fascinating 20 min items on fire safety and how to wind my extension reels after one gig at a nameless venue. Apparently the band and I were in mortal peril through the entire gig.

I was in more danger of self inflicted boredom related injuries. After a while I just turned and walked off.


# Posted by THE ROB MARTIN BAND - 30/01/2015, 22:48 (GMT)

@The Chevrolets we're the same ( being 60's ) The amount of people who say
" I wasn't born in the 60's " But they all know the numbers when you play em

# Posted by Roberto, fretboard polisher - 01/02/2015, 21:36 (GMT)

Those experts stood on their own (and they are always on their own) probably go home to an inflatable lady and a house with one padlocked room.

# Posted by The others - 03/02/2015, 03:24 (GMT)

Some prick asked us if we do Mumford & sons on Saturday night

My reply was do we f...k as like.

# Posted by Hellwyck - 09/02/2015, 00:25 (GMT)

@Steaming Richard 'The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu' were basically the KLF an anarchist trance act from the 1990s... a rock version of 3am Eternal would be sweet (there already is a grindcore version made with Extreme Noise Terror)

# Posted by BenTheDruma - 13/02/2015, 09:34 (GMT)

Once got told,

"your set is too mainstream, you need to do more obscure album tracks"

Was playing in a wedding band.

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